you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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