So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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