Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
