Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
