i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
