I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
