I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
