Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
