This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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