I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
