just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
