why didn't you poke me back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
