just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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