i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
