is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't deserve a penis
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
