She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You've changed since you got that strap on
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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