We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
