ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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