Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
