he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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