she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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