I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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