Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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