My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
