Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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