I skipped work to stalk him.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize