idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sponge bath it is.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
