I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
