found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
