Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
