It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
