we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
