I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
