His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize