ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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