you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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