My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
