Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
