I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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