Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
