I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
