upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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