Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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