If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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