I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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