You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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