Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
They took my balls.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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