i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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