don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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