me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
