ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
