Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
