By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Of course I have a pirate flag
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
