what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
