i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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