im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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