Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
