Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
