This girl is more easily done than said...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
