why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish you could order shots online.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
